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You’ve never heard a story from the Rwandan Holocaust like this.  This is a retelling of Imaculee Illibagezza’s struggles.  What makes this story so unique is the fact that while you are being told of her horrifying flight from her enemies, you are also being told of her inner connection with her God, and how it increases to the point where she begins to see in the spirit realm, receiving encouragement and instructions from God.  Her relationship between her and her God goes from being at HIs hand to being at His face.  Imaculee’s private room housed her religious statues and prayer books.  When she had to flee for her life, she left them behind.  She had to rely on what she had memorized to give her comfort.  As her situation grew darker, she needed more than comfort, she needed strategy.  Imaculee cried out desperately, without form or patterned prayer.  She quoted scriptures, checked her heart for hatred and bitterness, and pleaded with God to be hidden from her spiritual enemy and his devices.

In reading this book I escaped my ordinary, mundane prayer life, my prayer books, religious positions and moved to my heart.  I checked my heart for what would hinder my prayers.  The book was exciting.  Imaculle’s story opened my eyes to things that I could have only imagined without any real form of reality.

The craft of writing is not what attracts you to this work.  The story alone is so shocking that you can get away with not having moving sentences and shocking characters.  I must admit that without the testimony it would be another story from that time period that you may choose not to read because of the shocking content.  The testimony between these traumatic events is life changing.  I would recommend this book especially for those who want to know what Christianity looks like in the fire, on the battlefield, in action.  If you’ve spent your life surrounded by prayer books, and can barely see the fading light of faith in the distance, this …story, will bring your faith back to life.

Kim S-J




As different as fire and ice, they are.  Two distinctly different young ladies, Janeal and Katy, captures the affection of a young man, Robert, who loves them both equally, for different reasons.  One of the young ladies, Janeal, wanted to leave her family’s way of life.  “She toyed daily, hourly, with the idea of leaving this place.”

One day, Jeneal has the answer to fulfilling her hopes and dreams handed to her by the devil himself.  Jeneal runs the risk of betraying all of her love ones.  I’ve seen this before, you get to a place in your life where there’s something that you want so badly, that the devil himself could show up, and his offer might be hard to refuse.  I watched as Jeneal weighed all she had to gain, and tried to protect all that she  knew she could lose.  It was an offer she couldn’t, or wouldn’t refuse.  Decisions brought changes to Jeneal’s character as she learned the highest form of her new craft. Your eyes will open wide if you see your reflection in her character.

A tragedy takes place in her community and all of her love ones are suspected to be dead.   When Jeneal discovers another survivor, the possibility of her betrayals being known, brings her out of hiding.  Is she filled with regret or happy with the life she has built?  Does Robert still love her?  Has she out smarted the devil?  Each survivor ‘burns’ in their own way to find answers and wholeness.

Warnings whisper from these pages and upon locating your own personal memory, it exposes the infidel hiding within.  What?  You’re not ready for it to be you?  Well, that’s what the story is for. Perhaps you can sketch down a note as a warning for your future self.

If you’ve ever wondered if you could outsmart the devil, what beauty from within looks like, or what bitterness can do to your life?  Take your time with these characters.  What, who, are you willing to burn to get what you want?  I appreciate this story.  It was so entertaining that it exposed my true feelings without me knowing it. Yes! You should read this book.

Kim S-J




Why Me Lord?

Why me Lord?

I go to church. I read my Bible, sing when they say sing, stand when they say stand and say amen from time to time.  When I catch a cold or I get a tooth ache I pray the Lord will heal it, or provide a way for it to be taken care of.  Everyone goes through that, so you count yourself among the other followers who can’t sleep or who are going through something.  But…what about an all out attack that’s directed on you? (Luke 22:31 kjv)

Anyone who was or is, in service can tell you that when your platoon or group is attacked you pull together.  You count your weapons and amo, build a plan and pump each other up.  You shout phrases to the enemy like, ‘Come get some’, I got something for ya right here’, (basically we’re not afraid of you). However, when YOU find yourself cut off or behind enemy lines, alone, and you know the enemy is looking for you, your battle cry changes a bit. You’re no longer shouting about your abilities or your might, you’re remembering the promises that were made. ‘You promised you’d never leave me behind’.  ‘Where are your?’  ‘Don’t you dare forget about me’.  ‘I’ve always been on your side’.


As a Christian soldier I have experienced the same situations.  When I am among a group of believers, I’m spitting fire, flashing my shield that shows the victories my group has achieved.  But when the enemy turns his weapons on me and I’m in so much pain that sweat is dripping down my back, my teeth are chattering and all I can say is “Lord please”. I can’t sit, stand or lay because of the pain.  I’m crawling across my furniture, weeping.  My enemy leans in and says, “Where’s your God now?” Where are all those people you prayed for?” “Why are you trying so hard to please a God who obviously thinks this is good for you?”  (Job 2:9) I remember that I am not a weekend warrior.  Even on my great days someone is in so much pain.  When I’m eating good barbeque on a sunny day, someone is trapped and in a basement drugged and beaten.  This is not the type of world that my Father planned for His human children.  I can’t just pray for a good day for me.  I can’t just pray for my pain to go away.

When the Lord tells us to be encouraged or that joy will come in the morning He’s not speaking of the next day on your calendar. He’s not talking about your promotion. He’s telling us to remember the good news. He has defeated our enemy.  We are here on a mission and sometimes we have very enjoyable days. We buy, build, even fall in love, but we don’t take days off.

When rough days come, remember your training. Breathe, and remember God’s promises. You’re not alone. (Matt 28:20) He said there would be days like this but that He would deliver us out of them all. (2 Tim 3:11c/Heb 13:5b) He will never leave us or forsake us and my personal favorite, Vengeance is His. (Romans 12:19) Use every sunny day to spread the Word because good days are rare in war. (2 Tim 2:3-4)

How deceptive a “good day” can be when I’m only thinking about me.

Written to my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus

Love ya


Born connected to my mother with a cord,

Cut off from what I thought was life, what I needed to survive.

As I grew, I tried to connect again and again, but each time I found it less fulfilling.

Where could I find a connection that would take these blues away, or touch the untouchable place.

I see a smile on her face, maybe what she found can replace…whatever it is I’m missing

No? Not a woman, nor a man? How about money, or being grand? It’s all so sadly temporary

How dare this man not have what I need…and I’m spending money till I bleed

Where can I place this cord, that doesn’t drain others dry and eventually leave me alone to cry

Not one physical thing puts out enough energy to support my spiritual needs

I am telling you the truth, although my physical cord was cut long time ago

I still feel a spiritual need to connect… connect to real love, passion, family

Once I found the true Lord of Lords and King of Kings, Jesus Christ (Yeshua), I found I could never drain Him dry

It explained why no one could ever be the sole source to help me, satisfy me, educate me, entertain me, understand me….

So if you are one of the “few” that my Lord has talked about….make the connection to Christ alone

Kimya S-J

Learn Love


You may think it comes naturally but it doesn’t.  What human beings naturally do is ‘measure’. We measure our time, one another, education, ourselves and many other things.  Everyone wants to believe that they love correctly.  We even measure when we’ve loved enough and it’s time to stop.

God shows us His nature, Love, all through the old-testament (Gen 28:15).  You see the needle and the thread more plainly in the new-testament (John 3:16).  So many times, Jesus the Christ, confronted those who measured their love and others by good deeds or status.  The truth is whether it is correction or a holy kiss, it should be like moving from one form of love to another and you can only accomplish this by the Holy Spirit.  (Luke 4:18) We have to learn to ‘fall back’ in the arms of God everyday or we will keep feeling the need to draw our knife, like Peter did when he felt threatened in the garden with Jesus.

The human gets in the way.  What you’ve been through, how someone looked at you, the measure of how many times they did this to you will get in the way.  You can’t teach, preach, prophesy or greet anyone without God’s love that says, ‘they have a different past, they don’t understand, or this is how they were taught’.  This is not okay to the human being, but to God these are his babies and He’s determined to teach them. You’re His baby and He is determined to teach you.

I speak to a lot of people.  You can hear the Lord take control.  The things I want to say and the point I want to make, doesn’t make it pass my lips (thank God right).  It only happens because I discovered that the reaction or the point I thought was so important doesn’t accomplish what I thought it would.  His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  If we trust God enough to fall back in His arms, everything will turn out right.

It is a command because it is impossible to carry out God’s instructions without it. The Love of God insures that your correction never goes too far.  What you equip others to do isn’t too much. It’s the buffer to make sure you don’t harm others and you are not too hard on yourself.

I love Shawn McDonald’s song, ‘Simply Nothing’.  There chorus says “What are you man, if you do not learn love”.  I believe this is what Paul was trying to get us to understand. (1 Cor 13)  All the dreams and aspirations you may have for yourself will come to nothing if you don’t “learn love”.

(Written to the Christian family) Romans 13:10 / 1 John 4:7 & 12

Love Kim S-J


Stories are told about the person that goes farther than they were expected to. In the military, it usually means someone did something that saved lives. I read scripture like a soldier, most times, and I see the Lord calling the disciples to enlist with Him. He trains them to live like him and tells them their mission will be recruiting other disciples.  Three disciples are invited to come closer, to see Jesus without his uniform. The transfiguration spoken of in Matthew 17:1-9. It wasn’t revealed to others until later. It was just for them. And the privileged three, James, John, and Peter, went on to save many lives. The words that they were inspired by God to write, were written with a vantage point that few have ever seen.

I hear people tell stories from a pilots perspective or a medic’s perspective. I want to be one of the people that go beyond the call of duty. I want to be picked to come close and change my perspective. I know it will save lives just as these great soldiers of Christ’s vantage point, has saved mine.

Memorial Day—It’s for the soldier in Christ as well. For the one who wakes up on alert, pours out tears, declares the laws of God against the enemy. The one who lives by word…….and have died by it.

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, It’s because you don’t know what I’m talking about. I pray one day you will.

Love ya

There is a time for everything. (Ecclesiates 3:1-8) A time to be born and a time to die.  A time to cry and a time to laugh. Whether I cry or laugh depends on the memory and my mood, but I keep a deep current of hope that comes from the words of the Life giver, Jesus the Christ. He says in, John 14: 1 -6, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled.”…”I go am going to prepare a place for you”…”so that you will always be with me where I am.” 1 Cor 2:9 Tells us that, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” There are even more comforting words in 1 Thessalonians 4: 13-18.

So when my thoughts move between the memories of my mom’s life and her death, I remember I have every intention on meeting her by the tree of life. I remember she showed me the way to get where she is, just as Jesus showed his disciples how to follow Him. John 14:4-4 says, “And you know the way to where I am going.”  Jesus said. “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said.
We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him. “I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one can come to the Father except through me.”  I am convinced that nothing can separate us from the love that God has for us. Not even death. (Romans 8:38-39)

I have studied women who can make or destroy a king. A queen on a chess board is nothing to be toyed with; and so it is with a good, upright woman who becomes a wife.  Her husband can trust her because he’s seen how she enriches his life. She brings good to everyone’s life arround her. She knows how to buy, sell, prepare for her household and the day’s work. She inspects everything so she knows what to buy, and with the money she makes, she earns more revenue. She is energetic, strong and a hard worker, so all of her dealings are profitable. Nothing in her household suffers because of laziness. She helps the poor and needy.She dresses well and dresses her husband well. Her husband is known because of her. When she speaks, her words are wise and gives instructions with kindness. Her children and her husband celebrate her.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.” Proverbs 31:30-31

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