Archive for August, 2012

I suppose everyone had a parent who was always telling them what they couldn’t do.  There were so many things I couldn’t do, it was hard to see the things I could do as freedom. Oh and let’s not forget the things I had to do.  I use to think my mother was guessing or trying everything out on me to see who I would become.  Does pulling the wings off an insect count?  Maybe I’m a surgeon.

I couldn’t spend the night at my best friend’s house. I couldn’t play by the dead end street that had a ramp, like the other kids with bikes.  I could only have one bread roll, when everyone else got three. On my day off, I still had to get up, clean up and make my bed. Oh, and my personal favorite, when it was time to go to school, I had to travel over 3o minutes away to a school where no one would talk to me.  I think there was one other person of my race there but I never saw her. I love that question, “How was your day?” I wanted to say, “Same as my life, confusing and pointless.” But you know what teens say, “Fine.” And then disappear.

You are suppose to believe that despite all these rules your parent or parents love you, but you begin to feel like the family pet. At some point rebellion sets in and you find yourself building your own ‘golden calf’.  Whatever pleases you goes.  You ink it in your skin if you have too.

Hopefully at some point you grow up. I mean that you look deeper into all those…rules.  I couldn’t spend the night at my best friend’s house because she was being abused and I didn’t know it.  I couldn’t go to the dead end street because behind the ramp, in the wooded area, drugs and prostitution was taking place.  I could only have one roll of bread because I didn’t pass it through like everyone else, and I would get sick.  On my day off I had to get up, because depression runs in my family and if you don’t learn to make yourself get up when you don’t want to, you won’t.  I had to travel 30 minutes to a different school because it kept me from being satisfied with a little.  I began to…dream of more than what I was surrounded by and what it would cost me to stand alone sometimes.

The commandments in God’s word may seem harsh or confusing but they come from the Heavenly Father who knows what you cannot see. Not only will they protect you but they will put you in position to fulfill the plan for your life and open your eyes to what it will cost you.  If you are consistent, and faithful you will see His reasons and begin to understand.  People have lots of advice to get you out of jam or help you go around God’s word to get you what you want. But when you realize that “only Jesus” has the foresight and the power to protect you from demons and fulfill your purpose. Only Jesus loved you so much that He would pay the price to redeem you from the trap of destruction that satan has for you.…burn everything else. Act 19:19 Let God’s Words be written with His finger in your heart. Jer 31:33 (Our hearts)/ Ex 31:18 (His finger)

It takes all that and then some. Acts 19:1-20 (The story of a group of people who showed the value of God’s words over all others) / Duet 6:17-20 (God’s promises to you,if you obey and trust Him)

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. KJV

(Written to my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus)

Love ya

Kim S-J


Why Me Lord?

Why me Lord?

I go to church. I read my Bible, sing when they say sing, stand when they say stand and say amen from time to time.  When I catch a cold or I get a tooth ache I pray the Lord will heal it, or provide a way for it to be taken care of.  Everyone goes through that, so you count yourself among the other followers who can’t sleep or who are going through something.  But…what about an all out attack that’s directed on you? (Luke 22:31 kjv)

Anyone who was or is, in service can tell you that when your platoon or group is attacked you pull together.  You count your weapons and amo, build a plan and pump each other up.  You shout phrases to the enemy like, ‘Come get some’, I got something for ya right here’, (basically we’re not afraid of you). However, when YOU find yourself cut off or behind enemy lines, alone, and you know the enemy is looking for you, your battle cry changes a bit. You’re no longer shouting about your abilities or your might, you’re remembering the promises that were made. ‘You promised you’d never leave me behind’.  ‘Where are your?’  ‘Don’t you dare forget about me’.  ‘I’ve always been on your side’.


As a Christian soldier I have experienced the same situations.  When I am among a group of believers, I’m spitting fire, flashing my shield that shows the victories my group has achieved.  But when the enemy turns his weapons on me and I’m in so much pain that sweat is dripping down my back, my teeth are chattering and all I can say is “Lord please”. I can’t sit, stand or lay because of the pain.  I’m crawling across my furniture, weeping.  My enemy leans in and says, “Where’s your God now?” Where are all those people you prayed for?” “Why are you trying so hard to please a God who obviously thinks this is good for you?”  (Job 2:9) I remember that I am not a weekend warrior.  Even on my great days someone is in so much pain.  When I’m eating good barbeque on a sunny day, someone is trapped and in a basement drugged and beaten.  This is not the type of world that my Father planned for His human children.  I can’t just pray for a good day for me.  I can’t just pray for my pain to go away.

When the Lord tells us to be encouraged or that joy will come in the morning He’s not speaking of the next day on your calendar. He’s not talking about your promotion. He’s telling us to remember the good news. He has defeated our enemy.  We are here on a mission and sometimes we have very enjoyable days. We buy, build, even fall in love, but we don’t take days off.

When rough days come, remember your training. Breathe, and remember God’s promises. You’re not alone. (Matt 28:20) He said there would be days like this but that He would deliver us out of them all. (2 Tim 3:11c/Heb 13:5b) He will never leave us or forsake us and my personal favorite, Vengeance is His. (Romans 12:19) Use every sunny day to spread the Word because good days are rare in war. (2 Tim 2:3-4)

How deceptive a “good day” can be when I’m only thinking about me.

Written to my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus

Love ya


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