Tag Archive: emotions


You’ve never heard a story from the Rwandan Holocaust like this.  This is a retelling of Imaculee Illibagezza’s struggles.  What makes this story so unique is the fact that while you are being told of her horrifying flight from her enemies, you are also being told of her inner connection with her God, and how it increases to the point where she begins to see in the spirit realm, receiving encouragement and instructions from God.  Her relationship between her and her God goes from being at HIs hand to being at His face.  Imaculee’s private room housed her religious statues and prayer books.  When she had to flee for her life, she left them behind.  She had to rely on what she had memorized to give her comfort.  As her situation grew darker, she needed more than comfort, she needed strategy.  Imaculee cried out desperately, without form or patterned prayer.  She quoted scriptures, checked her heart for hatred and bitterness, and pleaded with God to be hidden from her spiritual enemy and his devices.

In reading this book I escaped my ordinary, mundane prayer life, my prayer books, religious positions and moved to my heart.  I checked my heart for what would hinder my prayers.  The book was exciting.  Imaculle’s story opened my eyes to things that I could have only imagined without any real form of reality.

The craft of writing is not what attracts you to this work.  The story alone is so shocking that you can get away with not having moving sentences and shocking characters.  I must admit that without the testimony it would be another story from that time period that you may choose not to read because of the shocking content.  The testimony between these traumatic events is life changing.  I would recommend this book especially for those who want to know what Christianity looks like in the fire, on the battlefield, in action.  If you’ve spent your life surrounded by prayer books, and can barely see the fading light of faith in the distance, this …story, will bring your faith back to life.

Kim S-J

 

 

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It took me a while to even wrap my mind around the idea of not having the full spectrum of emotions at my disposal. The main character in this book, Rom, was having the exact opposite struggle. We were on opposite sides of a looking glass. There is an line in the very beginning that expresses my point. “That archaic word passion, for example. Try as he might to grasp this thing, he could only conjure up thoughts of varying degrees of fear.” The moment I read the word passion, movie images, lyrics to songs and my own personal thoughts burst into my consciousness. You see, in this book the only emotion that was genetically allowed was fear. In order to purify humanity of war, murder and other negative results of passionate emotions, they were eliminated through genetics.

I imagined the setting to be clean, sterile and dull. This is a world where things are done because they have the skill to do them, not because they are driven by a passion for it. As you begin to read about the character Rom, you begin to desire more for him. He had a full life, but it lacked the enjoyment and passion that would make what he did more fulfilling. Another character who was also living her life free from ‘extreme emotions’ was a lady of royalty, named Feyn. Her life was desirable even though you knew she was in the same predicament as the other character. The position she held was powerful. You could see how those at her status valued ‘fear’. Fear manufactured the perfect slaves. The ‘order’ that came from this ‘fear’ resulted in absolute power. So now the reader has a decision to make. In my mind it was should you suppress passionate emotions so that everyone could live a predictable, tame, (lame) life or; for the good of all humanity, allow them to live with all of their emotions and passions. Give them the challenge of taming their emotions and using them to find wholeness and discover deeper mysteries.

Rom’s world changes when a vile of forbidden blood, along with some coded writing, is thrust into his hands by a creepy old man. Rom’s life explodes with color and passion, and it over flows into his relationships. Now I don’t think people should take drugs but introducing passion back into the human blood stream seemed to take him on a trip; a trip humanity had seemed to have forgotten about. This life giving blood threatens to bring chaos, disrupt order; but who’s order? Is it really chaos or could it be a time of awakening to move by free will and find life? The choice is not to hard for me when I was in Rom’s shoes, but lady Feyn. Why would a woman destined to rule give up this predictable structure, or order, just for a short time of emotional bliss?

This story makes you wonder if you are taking some things for granted, and if your emotions were meant to lead you to something greater. I highly recommend this book, which is the beginning of a series. You will discover much more than a thrilling ending.

–Kim S. J.

Some people go through their day like they are taking a multiple choice quiz.  I know, it used to be that way for me. I’m in traffic and I’m trying to leave space between me and the car in front of me. I don’t want a sudden stop to put me in his or her trunk.  The car in the other lane sees it as an opportunity to change lanes without a signal….really.  Do I, A) Vent with foul words and hand gestures so that the person in the other car knows they should never try that again with me.  B)  Have a Christian melt down.  Act as if some unseen hand is calming me down by swaying me back and forth, which causes me to moan and quote scriptures against the demon in the car changing lanes. Or C) Thank God there was no accident and pray for safety and discernment for me and the other drivers.  You know which one it the right one.  Pray for me cause I’m stuck between b and c.

Trying to figure out how to react in situations is the wrong response when situations rise throughout life.  This will put you in a pattern of waiting to see what will happen next and then calculating what the right response should be. This is why meditating on the Word of God is so important.  The Word tells you how to BE.  The Word shows you how to get the world and it’s situations to respond to you (your prayers and the works you establish through Christ Jesus).

Paul and Silas were in Philippi preaching about Jesus when they were arrested. (Acts 16:16-34) While they were in jail they prayed and sang hymns, while the other prisoners listened. This was their reaction to being beaten and thrown in jail. Their reaction wasn’t, ‘Lord why did you let this happen to us. Don’t you see we are doing this for you.’  They kept on doing weird things like this. Later on in the night they started praying and a earthquake shook the prison so hard the chains broke off the prisoners.  Things were happening all around Paul and Silas but they didn’t react to the situations because nothing had changed for them.  They were still on Kingdom business.  They were still on a mission, saving souls.  It was as if they were saying, ‘Anyway, back to what we were saying’.  Their consistency caused the jailer to see the truth of the situation.  Paul and Silas had always been free, delivered, and protected.  This is what the word saved means. (Greek word – Sozo= whole) The jailer realized that his keys couldn’t really bind or loose anyone who was truly free.  You know there are people who try and dress and act the part and there are people who are the real thing. The jailer saw that Paul and Silas were the real thing.  He asked them what he needed to do to be saved.

When the enemy brings about a situation to get you to react, just keep being who you are, a child of God.  Don’t be distracted from our Kings business by racism, religion, politics, doctrine, music, television, traffic  ect…  Tell the enemy, “No, you freak out.  You Move.”

(Written to my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus) Matt 16:25

Love Kim S-J

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